Hey there 2012. I realise you've been here for a while, now – but I've been on holidays. (Well, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.) And hey there, froggy blends (ahem)... bloggy friends. Welcome back (to you, and to me). You probably wondered if I'd disappeared last year? Good news! However it's come about, I seem to be back at the keyboard. Blogging my art.
In one way, I knew I would be. You see... it's an imperative: the art; the writing about the art; and, hence, these blog posts you've come to know and love. (Hush now, and take a seat.) Hang on just a jiffy. I'll put some music on for you —
This is about a feeling. I don't know if you're familiar with this one, but if you are, you'll know what I'm talking about. Sometimes I realise there's something that I Simply Must Do. The judge's decision is final. No correspondence will be entered into. DO NOT PASS GO. Do not collect two hundred dollars (shame about the money). "Resistance is futile."
If any of you have had a great creative idea attack without warning at three in the morning (and if you're anything like me), you probably know that you need to at least jot it down – since getting back to sleep, without doing that, is a lost cause. Fighting against these imperatives consumes more energy than allowing the creative flow to happen when it will. And, anyway, if you fight your own creative Muse, she'll just be an obstreperous pain in the butt until you surrender to her demands. Humble acquiescence is a much wiser path. So, these days, I choose not to swim against the tide when I experience those, "I need to draw/write – now!" moments.
Apparently, it's over 10,000 miles from here to Providence, Rhode Island, USA. More, when you don't fly crow–wise (which I didn't). So why did I undertake this journey of Ulyssean proportions? The answer is simple...
I had to.
I knew that I was going to study Zentangle® teacher training with Rick and Maria in the USA. So I surrendered to the will of my personal Muse. Here I am. Surrendering. (I look pretty happy about it, too!)
Kit, with Rick and Maria — Providence, Rhode Island
It was one of those, "Okay! I'll do it! (Now, may I have some sleep?)" moments. Should I have waited until a more 'sensible' time... delayed until the 'time was right'... waited to be 'practical' and 'rational' about it? Sure... sometimes that's the answer... but not always. And not this time.
So, at the end of September, I packed up (the night before), and spent 25+ hours flying from Australia to the East Coast of America. And now (well since last October) I'm a CZT. A Certified Zentangle® Teacher. (If you tangle, and you know it, clap your hands. And then stop clapping, and get yourself off to CZT training. I guarantee you'll have fun!)
Sometimes you just need to grab life with both hands,
take the dream,
and make it real.
Risk it! Create it! Live it!
So there you have it. Life, or our creative muse, or fate occasionally taps us on the shoulder and simply tells us what's happening next. And this part of my life, this journey of faith, if you will – it was just like that – I knew... utterly, completely, surely, and certainly, that this was where I was going.
Do I know what life has in store for me tomorrow... the day after... next year? Nope! Don't need to. I've learned not to question or over-analyse the future too much. My friend, Michelle, said that attending this seminar was like life giving us "serendipity on a stick." Well, who am I to question that?
So, I'm living it out. Swimming with the current. I'm claiming my artistic, working art studio dream. I'm grabbing it by the throat, and making it mine. I'm starting by tangling every day. (I'm posting my progress on Facebook to motivate me to add at least something more each day.) And right now? Well, I'm sitting at the beginning of Day Three. About to pick up my pen....
At the end of Day One (click image to embiggen)
"Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling, with the mistaken belief
that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain.
What you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain." — Saint Bartholomew
There are so many times in our lives when we don't quite know where to begin. (Writing this blog post was one of them.) Maria von Trapp would suggest we start at the very beginning (a very good place to start) with Do Re Mi. Unless it's the alphabet, in which case, like Rick and Maria's beautiful tile this week, you start with "A"...
But sometimes, what we endeavour to do seems so incredibly daunting that we simply can't seem to begin. Of course ("journey of a thousand miles" and all that), we will eventually have to take that first step. That 'leap of faith.' (Or, as I like to say, "get over yourself, Kit, and just do it!") But why is it so scary to just start? Somewhere. Anywhere...
(Click image to embiggen)
It's a simple answer, really. We're not living in the present moment. We're firmly and emotionally entrenched in a fictional future. We look at what we have set out to do... and two things are usually happening. First, we have an attachment to the outcome. We want a 'certain something' to happen, to exist, to develop, to appear. Second, we're worried about stuffing that up. It's natural. It's normal. It's ridiculous!
We. Haven't. Even. Begun and we're frightened of what might happen if...
That's all, just an "if" (no "buts" about it).
There are many clever definitions of FEAR in this context.
Here are a few:
F.E.A.R.
Future Events Appearing Real
False Expectations Appearing Real
Finding Excuses And Reasons
Failure Expected And Remembered
Frantic Effort to Avoid Reality
but my personal favourite would have to be:
Forgetting Everything is All Right
Because we do forget that. I'll say it again. Everything is All Right. We need to breathe, relax, and remember that. Of course, things don't always feel "all right"... acknowledged. But, except in the midst of immediate and present wrongness, they usually are.
Think about it. Where are you right now? Oh, I know, I know! You're sitting at a screen reading Kit's blog post. Good... that's sorted (and clearly "all right"). Are you in immediate need of shelter or food that you don't have access to? Are you injured badly? (Probably not, if you're still reading.) Are you in immediate physical danger? No? Ah...
Well... regardless of emotional turmoils (which we all experience from time to time)... I want you to do something very physical and grounding.
Feel your feet on the ground. Push at it a bit. Not moving? Good. That's "all right." Feel your body breathing. Are you breathing? Breathe a bit more definitely, so you can feel it. Yep - that's "all right" too. So... let's take it from there.
You're alive. Breathing. Not in immediate danger of any kind. You can feel the earth solid beneath your feet. Just feel all that. Know it. Know it deep, and sure, and certain. And breathe that knowledge out around you. Wrap yourself in it and (yes, I'm going to make you do it) repeat after me: "Everything is all right." Not convinced? Say it again. Out loud. (Yes, people may look at you strangely... I don't care... and neither do you - riiight?)
Everything is All Right
Okay... now to begin.
You don't start at the end.
You don't need to start with a result or an outcome.
You only need start.
Any kind of beginning will do.
Let's start up some music, shall we? (No, I hadn't forgotten, Shelly. [grin])
That's a start.
If you're starting something that you understand may not be easy, then do what I do. Start (and finish) something else. Something small and quick. Something you know you can do... with sure and utter certainty. For me that's a Zentangle. It's only going to take about 15 minutes (if I'm not attached to the outcome, of course), and I know I will succeed. Before I start. What a treat! What a buzz! What a confidence boost!
If you don't know how to tangle (yet), then make a cup of tea, or take a photograph of your feet, or whistle a nursery rhyme... whatever works for you. Whatever you know you can't fail to succeed at. And enjoy succeeding. And, when you're done. Appreciate what you've done. "Go me!" And, for future reference, you really ought to try your hand at Zentangle for this. Yes... all of you. [smile]
I finally finished a commission that I'd been having difficulty with... mostly because, the more I drew, the more I would potentially lose if I 'stuffed up' (yep, I Forgot Everything was All Right). But finish it I did. "Go me!" So here I am, sharing it with you (this blog, ostensibly being about drawing primarily... though philosophical musings are becoming a habit [grin]).
A new beginning.
A commission for Jenny's beautiful daughter, Nova.
(Click image to embiggen)
What do you think? Talk to me.
Or tell me about something that you made a start on today...
Comments form below (open for everyone, no sign up or anything).
This week I was challenged (by Laura Harms a.k.a. "I am the Diva") to "do a Tile or Zentangle inspired piece within fifteen minutes. Dots, Border, String, Tangles and Shading - all in fifteen minutes."
This may sound a little daunting... especially to those of us with a tendency toward careful, exact drawing techniques, but here's a tip for you.
I've discovered a fun way to approach Laura's 'challenges.' I just picture her, way up there in Saskatoon, thumbing her nose at me, and saying, "I dare ya!" And, if it's a particularly daunting challenge, I also check out her local weather... which is often a bit of a giggle (for me). Et voila! There I am in a playful mindset. Ready to dance my pens across the paper to the tune she has set for the week.
Before I go on... for those of you who like musical accompaniment to my blog posts (Hi Shelly!), here's the song I've chosen for this particular pen dance. ♪♫♫♪♫
For fifteen minute drawings: you can play this song four times
(and still have 36 seconds left over for a final shading touch ...and don't forget to write your initials on your artwork)
What fun this challenge turned out to be!
I so love playing these mini drawing games each week (thank you, Laura ♥).
First, here is what I accomplished, blank paper (tile) to end product, in fifteen minutes:
Process: I set the timer on my watch (without looking at it as I drew) and, on my first attempt (just) made it from start to finish in the time limit. I admit to drawing a smaller string than usual (no edge to edge work for this one!!), and to shading it with my finger rather than taking the time with a paper stump... but I didn't 'rush' this drawing.
Technique: I drew at an easy but continual pace, using my current fave tangle patterns, and used faster variants for some of them as I drew. I drew Jonqal with stripes instead of solid shading; and I drew big fat tendrils for my Mooka furls.
Bonus:There was a happy 'chewy centre' with this challenge, too. Quite serendipitous. I went to get the kitchen timer today to photograph the tile I'd drawn Monday night. Yes, it's a Panda timer. 1, 2, 3, "Awww!" But, see if you notice what I did...
Yep!
It's white and stationary— a Chancy State of Existence in this household, as my ever-moving partner will tell you. (Of course, stationery is fair game too, but that goes with saying... doesn't it?!) So, of course, it was just begging to be tangled! And, of course, I did (and used some great new tangles on this one – click through on the links in the caption to find the instructions for each).
(Click image to embiggen) Flux, Donna Hornsby's Keenees, Sue Jacob's Ace,
Cristine Letourneau's Esses, and Laura Harms' Artoo
I think that the message for this week is all about Participating in Life, and Making Time to do so. So I strongly encourage everyone ("all humans eligible," as one blogger commented!) to go and check out Laura's weekly "I dare ya!" games.
You can do this.
Take the Time... Make the Time to be the Living Embodiment of your Dreams.
This can be a scary path to dance, I acknowledge that, certainly.
Although, as Willian Shedd wrote, "A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for." But, with great respect for William's wisdom, let me propose an alternate view for you to consider: much as it may seem safe to stay 'in the harbour' or 'on the sidelines,' a spectator, there is no safety in living your life without thought and awareness.
Following on from there... I'm reading a book at the moment by one of my favourite authors (and poets), Oriah House: The Call. I would like to share with you two of her poems (knowing that you'll likely go looking for the rest!). [Note: these are only excerpts... click on the titles to read the full poems. And find Oriah's books on Amazon (or Book Depository for free shipping).]
And a natural segue to that prompting (just right for this week's post) in The Dance Oriah writes:
I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!”
Just stand up quietly and dance with me
That was a very fun 'in-between' place to be. In fact, when I began to ponder this week's Challenge (#10) from I am the Diva – entitled, The Space Between – I realised there are many 'in-betweens' in Zentangle land.
There's a moment between deciding to tangle and picking up a tile... between putting pencil in hand and touching it to paper... between thinking of a tangle and beginning to draw it... but (here comes another metaphor for Margaret) one of the most liberating 'in-between' places of Zentangle is that magical place we inhabit when we tangle – a place that is neither right nor wrong. Zentangle is not really even 'in-between' right and wrong (at least, not in the sense that it is half-way between one and the other),
A Zentangle simply IS.
No judgement.
No right.
No wrong.
No decision to be made one way or the other.
Zentangle is a process that exists independently of the 'right or wrong' pendulum swing that seems to proscribe much of our lives. Sometimes, more so in some aspects of life than others, things may appear to be very black and white. A is right, B is wrong. C is good, D is bad. Or perhaps: X is unpleasant (I experience aversion) and Y is pleasant (I experience attachment).
However, the more I learn about walking the Middle Path in my own life – the more I realise that equanimity (neither aversion, nor attachment) is an important step on the path to objective, self-aware living. And the best way to achieve equanimity? In my experience – to live in the present, to experience Reality, to
Be. Here. Now.*
Zentangle helps us to live in the Present Moment. Neither the past, nor the future – but betwixt and between. When we worry about the future, or fixate on the past, we cease to live in the present. How can we enjoy all that is real —right here, right now— if we mentally inhabit either past or future?§
For example, I have previously heard the word, fear, analysed in terms of the acronym F.E.A.R. = Future Events Appearing Real. So many of our fears exist only in the (not real) future, in the 'what ifs' and 'maybes' of..... okay – this is karmic in some way, I'm sure!
This Huntsman spider was over a hand span across, from one
leg tip to another. (Clicking image to enlarge is not advised.)
My partner and I just ran around the room (me squealing, at intervals, like a little girl) as a large spider ran across the carpet. Once he was safely relocated to the outside world, I asked J, "so what wasn't present moment about that particular fear?" He thought for a split second and replied, "It was clearly a fear based on 'what if the spider crawls on me?' – a future event that did not, in fact, come to pass." Okay... suitably chastened, and having to admit to you all that some future events seem a little closer (and thereforescarier) to the present moment than others, I shall continue.
Before and after shading. (Click to enlarge.)
The reason Zentangle helps us achieve moment-to-moment thinking is because, in the art of Zentangle, our world (our focus) narrows down to, and concentrates on a 3½" (9 cm) square... and then to the pencil string on that 3½" tile... and further, to a segment of the string of that 3½" tile. And then, focussing still more closely, we see just the tangle in that segment of that string on that 3½" square tile. And finally to each individual pen stroke of that tangle in that segment... And so on.
Where – when our world becomes that simple, that focussed, that meditative – is there room for doubt, fear, worry, or tension in our minds?
All but This Moment in time disappears from our thoughts. The stress and worry we carry, the pain or suffering we push away, the addictions we crave, all of these things evaporate (the past that is gone, and the futures that do not yet exist) – when faced with the Now of tangling, as in meditation.
We reach a seemingly magical place, a place that defies the rules of the ordinary, where we are able to experience our Lives, even if just for a time, Moment to Moment,
BEing Here Now.
In-betweens are often magical places. In Celtic mythology, the in-between places were places of transition, neither one thing, nor the other. Doorways, shorelines, the forest's edge, dusk and dawn are a few examples. These were places of power, where the extra-ordinary was possible, and where the bonds of reality and the every-day were shed. The transition from sunshine to rain, for example, is often marked by the magic and beauty of a rainbow.
When I first discovered Zentangle, I was on just such a border between one part of my life and the next. I didn't, at the time, realise how important that 'in-between' moment was. But there are many moments of transition and change in our lives when it is a Good Thing to pause, to breathe, and to appreciate. (Does that sound familiar?)
Mary Jaksch writes,
In old houses there is a stone or plank at the bottom of the front door. It is the threshold and marks where ‘home’ begins. It marks the edge of intimate territory. The threshold itself is neither in nor out. It is an in-between place. When you inhabit the place or the moment that is betwixt and between, you inhabit a mysterious realm. Something new, something unknown, is about to open for you. The word ‘threshold’ is a poetic word which conjures up dreams and images and I want to speak of them in the hope that you in turn will begin to dream and that out of your dreams a new awareness will arise.
Begin to dream today. Zentangle opened up a new world for me. One more incredible than I could have imagined. If I never receive any more from Zentangle than I have already, it is a bountiful treasure still. And yet, I believe – in the deepest reaches of my heart – that my feet have only begun to tread this path. I have crossed a threshold into the entrance way of Zentangle, and am Positively En-tranced (in the truest sense of both words).
And, this year (in October), I hope to cross yet another great in-between (The Pacific Ocean, between my home and the home of Rick and Maria) to continue on to new Zentangle discoveries, friendships, and family.
The Weepies - Can't Go Back Now (Walk On) "Go where you want to go, BE what you want to BE!"
One of my fave songs about letting the past be the past... and walkingforward into our livesas they are now.
(Don't click on the screen – it takes you to another song.)
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Having tangled away the day, I did not learn until this evening of the devastating earthquake that hit Christchurch, New Zealand today. I hold in my thoughts tonight all those who, after today's tragic events, wait in-between knowing and not-knowing. Since I am, for now, unable to do anything other than hold them in my heart, I will – once again – tangle. Let us hope that, for at least some of those who wait, there will be a rainbow's promise of hope between tonight's grief and whatever tomorrow brings.
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*There is a book, Be Here Now – that is worth checking out for the illustrations, alone. And, if you find the ideas attractive as well – have fun exploring (you will soon discover that this book, like Zentangle, also subscribes to the 'there is no up or down' principle [grin]). From Wikipedia: "Be Here Now is a 1971 book on spirituality, yoga and meditation by the Western born yogi and spiritual teacher Ram Dass. The title comes from a statement his guide, Bhagavan Das, made during Ram Dass' journeys in India. The cover features a Mandala incorporating the title, a chair, radial lines, and the word "remember". The book is sometimes referred to as Remember, Be Here Now. The numerous illustrations, including the cover art, are not credited."
§The subject heading of this article amused me (Hobbies and Interests » Good Self Esteem), since it would seem to me to be more than a hobby or interest... but what Phillips writes, particularly in her two opening paragraphs, illustrates the problems of inhabiting the past or future quite well.
Reference
Jaksch, M. J. (1999). The threshold. Retrieved February 23, 2011, from http://goodlifezen.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/the-threshold.pdf
